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A Better Life Starts with a Healthy Relationship

How to Get a Guy to Commit (21 Ways That Work Every Time)

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Have you been dating for a while now, but he still hasn’t talked to you about engagement or marriage? Are you wondering How to Get a Guy to Commit and remain loyal to you for the rest of your lives? If so, this blog post is just for you.

Sometimes when dating, it may feel like your boyfriend is simply stringing you along. This happens when a man fails to show his full commitment to his partner, in turn making her get worried and insecure. And every woman in a relationship can agree that there is no worse feeling than being in constant fear that her man can leave any time.

However, getting a guy to commit is not as hard as it may sound. In fact, even if your guy doesn’t seem ready to commit, you can still get him to commit; all you need is a little extra effort and patience!

Consider the following 21 Ways That Work Every Time when it comes to getting guys to commit:

1. Be Patient and Don’t Rush the Process

Of course, if your partner is not showing signs of being serious and committed to the relationship, then you will naturally get frustrated. However, this does not mean that you complain to him or your friends about his failure to commit. Why so?

Well, the more you complain about your boyfriend not committing, the more stress you will have. You will spend a lot of time thinking about what you are doing wrong or not doing right, and this will eventually weigh you down.

Therefore, be patient with your man. Remember that being too persistent and trying to rush the process will only work to drive him away from you. So, don’t put too much pressure on yourself and him; rather, be patient with the relationship and work towards making it a happy one.

2. Don’t be Clingy; Give Him Space to Breathe

When you are completely in love with someone, you want to spend every hour, every minute, even every second with them. And spending quite some time with a loved one is not wrong in itself; in fact, it is highly encouraged for a healthy, loving relationship.

However, spending too much time with a loved one can actually do more harm than good. A clingy person appears desperate and insecure, which are two big turnoffs for a man. Therefore, give your man some space to breathe and make yourself scarce.

If you do that, he will miss you and thirst for you all the time. In turn, this will push him to commit to you so that another man won’t swoop in and steal you away from him. Even better try using text messages to make your man miss you even more. And if you are wondering how to do that, simply check out Text Chemistry by Amy North; this video guide will show you just how you can make your man love you more without appearing clingy.

3. Smile and Keep Eye Contact When You Talk to Him

Carly Claney, a clinical psychologist and PhD holder living in Seattle, says that eye contact is “a demonstration of true connectedness. It can communicate ‘I’m here,’ ‘I’m listening,’ I’m available,’ and ‘You are important.'”

And maintaining eye contact when talking with your spouse does more than just connect you; it also rekindles feelings of romance, regardless of how long you have been together. Similarly, smiling when talking to your partner is a way of saying, ‘I am having fun with you.’

So, if you are the sort that tends to be shy when talking to your man, it is high time you learnt how to maintain eye contact and smile regularly. Such seemingly small things go a long way when it comes to getting a guy to commit.

4. Touch His Arm or Hand Every Now and Then

You already know that touch is one of the most important senses. What you are most probably not aware of is how a simple touch can have a profound effect on someone. And especially in a relationship, touch helps to promote love and connection among the partners.

Also, touch helps to communicate emotions between spouses. For example, touching your boyfriend’s arm or hand every now and then is an ideal way of reassuring them of your love and care. And when your guy is reassured of your love for him, he will not want to let go of you no matter what.

5. Compliment Him on What He Does Well

Praise and compliments are a must for any healthy romantic relationship. And yes, even men want to hear positive things about themselves. So when your partner says or does something right, make it a habit to commend him.

Be quick to notice what good things your boyfriend does. For example, did he help you solve a problem you had? Tell him something like, ‘I love how you think.’ Or has he been working hard in the office and still finding time for you? The voice that out and tells him, ‘I love how hard you work.’

Your man will no doubt notice how hard you work and will want to commit to such an appreciative partner.

6. Make Your Compliments Specific

For a compliment to prove effective, it must be specific. For example, rather than tell your man he looks good, you can tell him ‘You look really good in that shirt.’ Also, don’t just tell your partner how proud you are of him, tell him how proud you are that he works hard, helps you in the house, etc.

Unlike general compliments, specific compliments are considered more genuine and from the heart. So make it your goal to give your partner at least one specific compliment each day.

7. Ask About His Day and Tell Him About Yours

If you are already living together with your boyfriend, ask him about his day once he gets home from work. Alternatively, you can call or send him a text to know how his day was if you do not live together. However, only do this once you are sure he has settled in and rested a bit.

Wondering how to text your man so that he commits to you forever? Well, the key to everlasting love is just a click away!

Asking your man about his day will show that you care about him. It will indicate that you are interested in his life and are concerned about his feelings. Similarly, telling him about your day will show him that you are interested and comfortable sharing your life with him. In turn, this will draw him closer to you and encourage him to commit to you and start sharing life with you.

8. Don’t Ask Him if He Wants Kids

You want kids soon, or later on in life. But you don’t know how your partner feels about having kids. So the best way to go about this would be to ask him directly if he wants kids, right? Wrong!

Bringing up the topic of kids is crucial if you and your partner are to commit as lifelong partners. However, directly asking your man if he wants kids will only scare him off. More so, you will be putting a lot of pressure on him, which might cause him to actually avoid you and break off the relationship.

Instead of asking him about kids, talk about your own goals and desires. Talk about what kind of a family you dream of, how many kids you wish to have, etc. Simply talking about your future goals will pass the right information to him, and he will commit to you if he is the right one.

9. Playfully Tease Each Other but Never Put Anyone Down

Do you want to add some fire and romance to your relationship? Be playful and tease each other. Julienne Derichs, a family and marriage therapist, comments that “Being playful is such an important part of a relationship. It helps couples connect, de-stress, and it acts as an important repair technique when couples are feeling tense over conflict.”

However, when teasing each other, avoid putting your partner down. For example, rather than say ‘you are stupid’, you can say ‘that was an interesting idea.’ The point is: be careful that you do not press your partner’s buttons. Tease him to ease things, but be respectful while at it.

10. Always Let Them Know They Are Important to You

You know that your boyfriend loves you, and he knows that you love him too. Still, it is not enough for him to know in the back of his mind that you love him; you need to constantly reassure your man that you love him.

Nowadays, technology has made it much easier to communicate with our loved ones. So take advantage of it; send your boyfriend texts throughout the day reassuring him of your love. After you go out, text him and tell him how much you appreciated your time together.

Yes, your boyfriend wants to know that he is important to you. He wants to hear you say it. So regularly let him know just how much he means to you and you will see how committed to you he becomes.

11. Talk About His Bad Days and Listen Attentively

Everyone has their bad days, and your boyfriend is not an exemption. And how disappointing would it be for your partner to come home after a long, stressful day, only to find a moody and uncaring spouse?

So while you may still not be committed to each other, always be willing to talk to your man about his bad days. Encourage him to open up; and when he does, listen attentively without interrupting or judging him.

After all, remember that when you and your partner finally get married, life won’t be all smooth. You will still face some problems, challenges, and misunderstandings. However, when you listen attentively as your man explains his problems, he will see that you are actually an understanding person with whom he can live with easily.

12. Offer Physical Touch as Much as Possible

As discussed in point 4 above, physical touch is very important, especially in a relationship. It is a perfect way of expressing love and romantic feelings without saying a word. Therefore, if you are looking to reassure your man of your love for him, offer him as much physical touch as possible.

For example, during his off days at work or at night, cuddle up. Hold hands when you are walking around town or at the park. Also, make these physical touches random, but regular. Your boyfriend will undoubtedly keep longing for your touch and be drawn even more to you.

13. If He Says No, Take Some Time Off Dating

Sometimes, even after putting in all effort and trying your best, the guy you are dating may still say no to commitment. When he breaks up with you, you may be tempted to jump right back into the dating pool and find yourself another worthy man.

However, dating another person immediately after a breakup only sets you up for another heartbreak. Hence, when he says no, you would do well to take some time off dating, say, for a couple of months.

Use this time to focus on yourself. Go out with friends, pamper yourself, grow yourself. By taking time to focus on yourself, you will be able to heal, and even know just what to look for in your next partner.

14. Be Confident

Men love ladies and partners who are confident; and not just confident in what they do, but also confident in themselves as a person. So if you want your man to be more attracted to you, even to the point of committing, you need to work on being a more confident person.

To be confident, you first need to love yourself. Fall in love with your personality. Fall in love with what you do. Fall in love with all your flaws. When you love yourself, you will grow into a confident person; just the sort of person any man will want to spend the rest of his life with.

15. Make Time for Each Other

Being clingy is one thing, and hardly spending time with each other is another. For a relationship to grow, you need to communicate regularly. And communication doesn’t just happen; both partners need to buy time for each other and spend time together.

So, don’t let your relationship take a backseat to work or school. Buy some time each day to talk to your partner. After school or work, call them or sit with them and talk about your day. Hang out for a few hours during the weekend. Such regular, quality time spent together will draw you closer to each other day by day.

16. Tell Him How Good He Is as a Partner

Compliments uplift us and promote healthier relationships. Lindsay Liben, a certified psychotherapist, says that “compliments can be a useful tool to nurture and enhance relationships. Ultimately, it contributes to deeper, more intimate connections.”

Hence, it is crucial that you let your partner know how good he is and how much you value him. And don’t just tell him that he is a good partner; be specific and point out all the specific things that make him a good spouse. Such positive comments will uplift your man and create in him the desire to commit to you in a serious relationship.

17. Be Interested in the Things That Are Important to Him

What is your man mostly interested in? Does he love playing football? Or is he a great fan of sports? Among the crucial steps to getting a guy to commit is learning what he is actually interested in.

Then, you also need to show interest in the things your man is interested in. For example, if your partner loves watching sports, could you join him from time to time and watch together? If he goes to play football with his friends, could you make him a small snack and even accompany him to the pitch as a spectator for his team?

Showing interest in the things that your man loves indicates that you have a genuine interest in him. And your partner will not only notice this interest but also feel the need to reciprocate it.

18. Figure Out What He’s Looking for in a Relationship

It goes without saying that if you are not what he is looking for in a relationship, your man will not bond with you. So, before you start thinking of committing to him, you first need to identify the key aspects that your partner is looking for in a spouse.

One way to know this would be to encourage your partner to talk about his future goals. Also, you can ask him what he wants from you and which areas you should improve or change. Listen to him attentively and be ready to hear a negative answer. By so doing, you will be able to figure out and adapt to the kind of person your man wants for a lifelong partner.

19. Focus on the Things You Have in Common

No two people are exactly alike; no matter how loving you and your partner are, you will have several differences in opinions and likes. However, focusing on these differences will encourage more conflicts in the relationship, in turn drawing you further apart from each other.

Instead of focusing on the differences, you have with your partner, focus on what you have in common. In fact, write these down and see how you can make the most out of them. When you focus on these, you will promote a healthier relationship between the two of you; a relationship that your man will want to commit to, so as to stay in it forever!

20. Take Your Time and Get to Know Each Other First

Before you can move forward with engagement and any other commitment, you should first get to know each other well. Obviously, there is what you are looking for in a boyfriend. Similarly, there is what your man is looking for in a partner.

Therefore, first, analyze your man and see if he is actually someone you would live with for the rest of your life. After all, you wouldn’t want your man committing to you, only for your marriage to fail after a few years. Be assured that he is ‘The One’ before taking any more steps to get him to commit.

21. Stop Pressuring Him to Commit

This is the most important point to note when trying to get a guy to commit. No matter how much you desire to settle down, never pressure your man to commit or try to rush the process.

Constantly pressuring your partner will not make him budge. On the contrary, it will make you come out as a desperate person. Also, you will appear insecure, and this will only work to scare off your man.

So avoid the temptation to constantly ask the guy you are dating to commit. Rather, go steady and be patient with him. Only by so doing will he realize that you are actually interested in building a healthy relationship, and he will be motivated to commit to you.


It’s important to remember that everyone is different and what might work for one person may not be the same as it would for someone else. That being said, here are some general tips on how you can increase your chances of getting him to commit: 

  • Be patient and don’t rush things (If he doesn’t want a commitment right now, let him know that there will always be time later if he changes his mind) 
  • Don’t cling onto him or put pressure on him by asking too often about when they’re going to get married/have kids etc., give them space to breathe every once in a while (but also make sure they know that you care) 
  • Smile at them when you talk with them.

Have we missed anything? Let us know what has worked for you in the comments below or shoot me an email at [email protected]

Keep Learning

Whether you’re looking to improve your relationship or just need a little help getting back on track, this video presentation will show you how. It’s something that can be learned once and used forever – so click here now!

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