Are you trying to deal with fake love?
To find a faithful partner who can give you real love, knowing what true love and differentiating it from fake love, is crucial.
To keep someone, genuine love is required in return. We will give wisdom on building a long-term relationship and knowing the fake ones to avoid them.
Such deep insight will keep you away from suffering as a result of loving the wrong person. Above all, it will help you prevent heart attacks by doing the right thing and being authentic. If it comes your way, we are going to show you how to grief a lost relationship and therapy.
FAKE LOVE VERSUS TRUE LOVE
Below are the differences that you need to know about love.
1. A Fake Lover Is Self Centred – A True Lover Is Sacrificial
Unlike a fake lover, a real lover is ready to sacrifice their time. They are selfless. On the other side, a phoney lover is selfish, and they only care for themselves.
2. A True Lover Says The Courteous – A Fake Lover Resides In The Den Of Carelessness
According to Meredith Shirey, a relationship therapist, you should not act like a control freak or try to possess your partner in true love.
However, this does not mean that trying to question your partner’s feelings is at all bad. If you know whether your spouse loves you or not can help you avoid any possible heartbreaks. A fake lover, on the other hand, will try to control you.
3. A True Lover Is Kind – A Fake Lover Is Cruel
True lovers have a big heart. They are compassionate and generous. They will give you true love more than you expect and take good care of you.
Unlike a true lover, a fake lover mistreats you, and they will inflict pain on you.
4. A True Lover Is Patient – While A Fake Lover Is Short-tempered
A true lover can forgive you for the mistakes that you are prone to. Your errors, shortcomings and faults are guaranteed to find forgiveness. One thing that fake lovers find hard doing to their partners.
5. A True Lover Is Humble – A Fake Lover Is Proud
A true lover acts more humanely. They rarely take credit for themselves. They regularly admit their mistakes, take responsibility for their actions and even apologise.
A true lover can let go of their ego to lift another person. With a fake lover, they are boastful and credit grabbers. They rarely admit their mistakes and are fond of blame-shifting.
6. A True Lover Feels Fulfilled – A Fake Lover Feels Empty
Kelly Campbell, PhD, associate professor of human development and psychology at California State University, San Bernardino, comments that “For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, hobbies, values, education, and personality), the better. Partners need to be sure that their values match before getting into marriage.”
This will make partners feel self-sufficient, unlike a fake lover who feels empty.
7. A True Lover Is Strength Centred – A Fake Lover Is Weakness Centred
Dr Kristie Overstreet, a psychotherapist, suggests, “Take 5 minutes and make a list of all of your strengths. Doing this and referring back to it will be a reminder that you are enough as well as worthy of being around (them).”
That way, it will help you make a difference and know who to be with.
8. A True Lover Is Joyful – A Fake Lover Is Bitter
Cheerful hearts belong to faithful lovers. Their minds are full of positive thoughts. They love to see other people happy and joyful. A fake lover’s heart is always full of bitterness. They are made of, and spread, negative energy.
They always imagine how the world has been unfair for them to find you. That will make them hold a grudge against you.
9. A True Lover Is Respectful – A Fake Lover Is Rude
Dr Susan Krauss, a psychologist and author, stated in an article published in Psychology Today that a true lover listens and respects your opinion always, no matter if it is polar opposite from his view.
On the other hand, a fake lover will tend to be arrogant, and they do not care about what you feel or think of them. They will consider you as inferior and worthless.
10. A True Lover Is Loyal – A fake Lover Cheats
According to a study conducted by Zick Rubin, a social psychologist, couples in authentic love look at each other 75 % of the time while engaged in conversation. Unlike a fake lover who will always have infidelity issues and doesn’t look at you directly in the eye.
11. A True Lover Is Faithful – A Fake Lover Is Unbelieving
Despite one’s shortcomings and weaknesses, true love should be based on faithfulness. To a fake lover, assurance beyond doubt needs to be presented for them to depend on you.
12. A True Lover Is Hopeful – A Fake Lover Can Give Up Easily
A person who honestly loves you will always have a picture in mind of you in their plans. They will want to be with you for the rest of their life.
That is the reason why they will always fight for you, stick to you and give you their undivided attention. That could be unseen with a fake lover.
What Next After You Find Out That You Are In A Fake Relationship?
Life is short and meant to be lived fully. One should leave a relationship that they find toxic and fake.
‘’Breaking up Is Hard to Do” is not just a hit song from the 1960s—it is accurate.
Steps on how to heal from the torture of fake relationships that enhance recovery:
1. Create relationships
Matt Lundquist, the principal founder of Tribeca Therapy, says that ‘You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and a worse relationship plan. No person can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside the relationship, or the connection isn’t going to work anymore.”
2. Good Grief
Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief are among the most popular ways to frame the grieving process. The five steps are denial (inability to accept reality), anger, bargaining (pleading to God), depression (sadness, emptiness, guilt, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, hopelessness), and acceptance.
With a breakup comes losing a partner. One can as well lose their social status in perception and the future that they imagined together. One needs to give themselves enough space to grieve the loss. It is not easy.
Once you are avoiding grief; depression, anxiety, self-denial, and regrets will kick in. Self-esteem will as well go down. It can be emotionally and physically unpleasant at some point, but it will help you control your emotions hence empowering you. Let the guard down. Once you have grieved, you will heal.
3. Become Anti-Social Media
Letting go is a kind of loss that is special on its own. Social media can present complications with the memories that it offers to you. Your ex can be accessible to you, if they still don’t want to go, by a retouch from their phone.
It would help if you understood the existence of stalkers. Nothing good can come from looking at the pictures you had together.
4. Try Mindfulness
If you experience uncomfortable sensations, feelings or thoughts, you should try deep breathing exercises. Meditate and have plenty of mindfulness exercises. When things are flowing freely, they become less potent.
Get a chance to unleash your inner Glinda the Good Witch and tell them, “You have no power here! Begone.”
5. Remind Yourself Why You Left
Usually, it is painful when you recall how badly you were being treated. It is crucial to move on. There must be a reason why the two of you are no longer together. Do you deserve to be cheated on? They took you for granted. Do you deserve that?
6. Find Therapy
On top of all these, if additional help is required, see a therapist. Therapy is a beautiful thing that can help you let go, change hope, and a mentality that can help you moving on.
The bottom line of being in a relationship is happiness, love and finding company. To sail through the dorms of life, be honest, hopeful and caring. Bear in mind everybody has had their heart broken by someone at some time.
We can advise you to find someone who you like, create connections and let the love grow.
Have you found this article helpful in deciphering the quest “HOW TO DEAL WITH FAKE LOVE”? Tell me about it in your comments below.